By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35). We are not arguing. His father-in-law uses his position to steer my son’s wife’s (pastor’s daughter’s) decisions. In most cases, pastors need to be generalists, not specialists. David Oyedepo Jr formerly pastored the London Branch of the Church with his wife, Kemi but is now the resident pastor of the Ministry's headquarters church (Faith Tabernacle) while Isaac Oyedepo pastors Winners' Chapel International, Maryland, in the United States of America with his wife Ayomitide. She is not responsible for the decisions her husband or the board of elders makes. It is much appreciated. The problem is that my girlfriend has a very hard … She is to support her husband’s ministry, raise the ideal family, be a model Christian … THE. God will lead you to a good solution. There is only one faith and only one church (Ephesians 4:4-6). Click To Tweet. This type of fighting can cause damaging cracks to the relationship. God doesn’t want a dispute over church choice to tear your marriage apart. BUT… and that is the operative word here, there may be some exceptions. My boy really didn’t cause any … “Above all, put Jesus Christ at the center of your lives — as individuals and as a family. The church began on the Day of Pentecost in Jerusalem (Acts 2). Thank you for this article. I also find it so empty. It will cause a type of division—no doubt. They don't connect with people in the church or get involved with any ministry. I had one … 3. She is making this statement: "My ministry is more important". He now demands that I should stop going to my church regardless of the roles that I have been given. However, when asked about this issue of attending different churches Billy wrote: “The Bible doesn’t say anything directly about this. Some couples attend a Saturday night ‘contemporary’ meeting but also occasionally a Sunday morning ‘traditional’ service at the same church.” (Phillip J. Swihart from the Focus on the Family article, What If We Don’t Like the Same Church?). They claim to be Bible based, but so many of their teachings are extra Biblical and separate them from other Christians. In an “Ask the Minister” article for the Lorain County Free-Net Chapel, a question is asked pertaining to two spouses who attend churches in completely different denominations and worship styles. From there, the Christian movement spread to other cities, including multiple congregations in many cities (see Romans 16). It’s a problem if it divides you in your marriage. He didn’t wait until we acted in ways that pleased Him. I have tried talking to my spouse but he won’t listen because they have been advised that the mainstream Christians have pagan practices, plus his mom and sister are Jehovah Witnesses. If one of you goes to my church, I would actually tell you to go to the other church rather than remain at the Bible Church with your divided communities. Though i feel like parents going to different churches will set a bad example for when … 3 of our 4 children have left home, and are living in different cities, leaving only one at home, who is at university. Is it wrong to attend multiple churches? “Don’t attend a church where members go to the pastors house to cook and clean and raise his children. You know, that woman who had it all together, never seemed to struggle, played the piano, attended every event, and met everyone’s expectations — … While we were yet sinners, He died for us so we can live eternally. Otherwise it might bother people. I knew a little about the church and some of the difficulties through which it had been passing. Money has very little to do with this blog because it’s precious to me. It may be that we haven’t come across the right couple(s) yet. Please read through the following topic because you are dealing with someone who is acting like an unbeliever. 1. He plays sport while I attend church. Can a Husband and Wife Attend Separate Churches?,- Dr. David marriage help and advice. This is a healthy, well…Continue reading The Six People You Should Ask to Leave Your Church That’s the most important thing. You have to value your fellowship with God. It won’t be a “perfect” church, but then there will never be a perfect church where you agree with everything that goes on there. Our marriage is in strife. However, the pastor's wife deals with the same issues as every other Christian wife in addition to the pressures of church ministry. I am currently going through the same issue. The church is popular among millennials and others. That is optimal. She benefits from his teaching and preaching like the other members of the congregation. I can’t bear to go to church alone without my spouse and children and I’m feeling the heat. CELEBRITY pastor Carl Lentz’s wife, Laura, was also fired from her job as a leader within Hillsong Church due to her husband’s infidelity, The Sun can exclusively report. If he doesnt mind the pastor that his wife likes but prefers another but chooses to be a sacrificial leader, then that’s a different example from the ones that I explained above. It is inconsistent in it’s message at times and unity on issues. So, what is the right answer? Pastors do their best to minister to all of them. My spouse and I find ourselves in this dilemma. I also know a little about God’s judgement on accusations brought against His servants (Moses, Aaron and Miriam). I find this puts quite a strain on the marriage – although my spouse never discourages me from attending. Some of those reasons are necessary; others are not. And you have to value prayer. Do I join and with God’s help have a cooperative spirit and good attitude about this? You did not say why you are choosing to attend a different church than your husband. They change the church constitution frequently. “I’ve seen people, where one spouse goes to one and another spouse goes to another. For years and years he had absolutely no interest in going to church with my sister-in-law, or us. My heart goes out to you Libby, as a wife and as a mom. They were both strong willed people, and yet they made it work. Coming from a doctrine/knowledge based background, I simply can no longer believe that we must accept a particular doctrine beyond Christ and Him sacrificed. The church began on the Day of Pentecost in Jerusalem (Acts 2). “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!” (Romans 15:5-6). Many thanks for this piece; very informing and impacting. We’ve seen where going to different churches works for couples, but they just don’t seem as tight in partnership as those who are tight in their relationship with Christ, and go to the same church. How God Uses This Ministry to Help Marriages, What Cindy Wright Has Learned About Marriage, What Steve Wright Has Learned About Marriage. But this will be especially important when you have children that you are in perfect agreement. I just feel bad about Awana and our non-denom Bible camp that my husband doesn’t really want them attending anyway but now there would be a more formal No they shouldn’t do that based on the church’s theology and fellowship guidelines. We knew that no matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t meet everyone’s expectations. It isn’t. Some pastors tend to overlook the trend and say they are called to preach only to the people left in the church. The Scriptures don’t even offer explicit teaching directed to the role of pastor’s wife, but this in itself is not remarkable and certainly shouldn’t be used to deny a pastor’s wife a ministry role in the church, because there are other important ministry roles in the church that the Bible doesn’t spell out instructions for, like Pastoral Counselor, Executive Pastor, or Children’s Ministry Director to name a few. In fact, almost every message was directed by the pastor to spite her or a product of another gossip. God doesn't look at it this way. I’ve struggled in different seasons with all 5 temptations. The burdens of their congregation members are constantly on their mind. But we determined to make the best of every church we are in, rather than long for what we no longer have. Some preachers do become elders, but all elders are not preachers. Talking from personal experience. My fiance however had only gone to church a couple times before he started going with me. Our child is now an adult and has come out to us. For instance they do not believe in the Trinity. To be honest, if she is truly desiring to please the Lord, she will be a better wife to you, and will love you too.” (We encourage you to read the rest of the answer given at: ASK THE MINISTER). We could only be true to the call that God had placed on our lives. Your elders and associates are wonderful, but you feel responsible for them too! I also find that people in my church are “money and success oriented” and unduly impressed with wealth. Here is a portion of the answer that was given: “…I just thought that I would remind both of you that nagging each other about your faith does nothing to convince the other that you are right and the other is wrong. In the meantime, do what both of you believe God is leading you to do, and don’t listen to the counsel of others if in doing so it would bring problems in your marital and spiritual life. If they cannot be in unity and attend one church, it is a warning sign for their marriage and their walk with the Lord, and it … If you love your current pastor’s preaching, just listen to it online during the week. Children brought up in an environment where mom and dad believe differently tend to grow up with no belief of their own. “Whether it be the death of a member, whether it be somebody upset, whether it be losing funding, whether it be just all sorts of different things, or maybe just our own depression, just dealing with being locked up at home,” said Pastor Mike Leake at Calvary of Neosho, a Southern Baptist church. To think that I saw this email soon after praying about this issue is indeed a blessing. Two people entrenched in their different doctrinal positions often find it very difficult to compromise and reconcile, but with God, all things are possible. (The pre-Christian European…, Please ask the Lord to reconcile me and my wife Kate, to open her heart to me, forgiving the past…. For sure, I know what it’s like and I know how much of a struggle it can be at times. For me non-denominational means accepting other denominations that BELIEVE Christ died for our sins and have fruits of repentance. I go to a Nazarene church though my fiance wants to go to a catholic mass. The Bible encourages us to “give honor where honor is due”. But what about spouses who live together and yet they can’t agree upon the same church? Also note that we are told in God’s Word: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Romans 12:18), “Be devoted to one another in love. He says that we should go to our own churches, me to my own church and him to a Catholic church. Here is one more insight given on the issue by another minister. Why? Man gets to choose the church. My time is ticking fast. The message is Christ-centered, and the church is spirit … Press J to jump to the feed. Yes, it’s sad that your kids wouldn’t be able to attend Awana, but the fact that they are thriving in their catechism class is such a good thing. Sometimes a church, almost without realizing it, can have unrealistic expectations of their pastor’s wife—what she should do, how she should respond or how she should relate to everyone. If you come to a place where this is separating you in unity as a husband and wife then it would be time to revisit this issue. The pastor’s wife and children will undoubtedly contribute (for good or ill) to his overall impact on the church. Please note that it does not say one denomination, or a physical building, but one body. I pray the Lord talks to you further on all of this as you continually take it to Him. I haven’t attended any church for some years but I’ve recently picked up my Bible again after leaving WCG, I want to find a good Bible based church in my local area. Why Do Faithful Members Leave the Church? I guess it’s because I am one. My hosts gave a noncommittal reply and quickly changed the subject. We believe this is both a wonderful thing to do, but also comes with great blessing for church leadership. We are supposed to be one body. I’m truly short of words because I didn’t think there were resources out there that addressed the situation. Looks like trouble is brewing. He helped lead the Acts 29 Network, a national church planting organization, and also served as the chaplain of the St. Louis Cardinals. Essentially, you are living with a spouse who is an Unbeliever (although he and his fellow “Witnesses” would not see it that way… just the opposite). Should pastors be in charge of the church's money? Confession and repentance are powerful like that. If you’re a pastor’s wife I encourage you to reach out to another pastor’s wife to share and pray for each other. Our short answer is, “ideally, no.” A husband and wife are supposed to “cleave together as one” after they marry. She has known nothing else since she was 18 (yes, she got married at 18, get over it). So far, I have continued to attend church with my husband, but am increasingly growing frustrated with the situation. He believes the Lord wants him to attend a different Christian church. We have a three year old son and my prayer is that God shines in my husband’s heart to truly get to know Jesus. (And then we recommend you go to the linked article afterward to read the rest.). One church was staggered by COVID-19 early on. At least he’s not off the deep end, even though this has felt close to joining the Mormon/Jehovah church or something. Many churches provide both ‘traditional’ and ‘contemporary’ services. You have to value God’s Word as final authority in your life. So naturally, I contacted a few pastor’s wives I knew, and googled "pastors’ wives’ articles." Is it wrong to attend multiple churches? I love the people who faithfully attend here. Conversation is strained, as we have so little in common to talk about. Repentance (turning away from iniquity and the old self) and belief in the Sacrifice is what saves. Remember, almost every church records its sermons now. For our Lord and Savior Jesus, unity among His disciples is a high priority. And that’s the point we want to make. The couple has prayed about and discussed this together and are both equally ok with going to 2 different churches because they feel walking in obedience to God is most important. The wife believes this move is for a purpose (which at first was not revealed but now has been) but also believes it is for a season and when that season is over God will place her and her husband back in the same church. Therefore, they keep up that tradition. There are numerous corruptions of the true faith and true church, only one is acceptable to God and Jesus, and that is the church Jesus built for himself. They are very orthodox and how they practice does line up historically with the 1500’s and they read their Bible verse by verse very closely. Pastors of the International Church of Las Vegas thanked the president for the good job they believe he is doing in the White House. “Many church members expect me to know everything that is happening in the church.” In other words, they should know everything their pastor/husband knows. Unite. Our home church has increased it’s contemporary feel and worship style. Pastors' Wives - Unappreciated Upward of 80% of pastors' wives feel somewhat left out by their mate … Yes, there’s no doubt that you will miss your friends. We agree with what this minister wrote. They are two separate jobs which have some overlap. Go with God on this. My husband and I are currently battling this. I pray strength and wisdom for you as you do. Unfair Expectations on the Pastor’s Wife. The pastor should not have … “I don’t know for your situation, but given my view of a husband’s leadership role, I think he should hand over his rights. They often feel overworked, unloved and underpaid. And yet they came to agree upon attending one church. In recent years, my wife has frequently facilitated groups for pastor’s wives. Perhaps the most unsung person in a church is the pastor’s wife. Bio. We constantly have to remind ourselves to play to an audience of one — namely God himself. Please note that Billy Graham and his wife Ruth came from different denominations. That wouldn’t honor the Lord. That’s not what you were called to do. Leadership spells loneliness. And I’ve seen that work fine. It hurts to see people go (sometimes) but there have been times in my ministry when I knew that I needed to encourage people to move along. Thank you for the helpful article. God bless! So, for one year, she has been attending another church with our youngest son while the two other children attend a different church with me. If a husband and wife attend different churches, it must be that 1) one of the churches is not a Bible-believing church and one of them does not want to go there for that reason, or 2) one (or both) of them does not understand the importance of unity among the body of believers. It would be very very difficult to start new elsewhere, especially for my husband who is very loyal to the denomination and it’s traditions, but I don’t know a solution to this… other than I attend a different church. Questions and Answers regarding Denominationalism, Questions and Answers regarding Preachers. She should always be dressed appropriately and regardless of her schedule, she should attend every church gathering and function. I do not have an answer to this. 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